Getting into flow as a mompreneur
I have never built anything worth building without getting into a state of flow. I remember being in pjs for months in my London apartment plotting planning and mailing hundreds of creatives to get contributions for Sketchbook Magazine. I recall 9 months of staying in and having multiple emotional episodes and saying no to the gym and saying no to a social life as the women power summit came together.
I feel I am in state of flow now as I work wholeheartedly to make sure Playbook cruises through its seed round. I am a robot and my days are the same. I am in a Truman like state. The only three things I do are work, swim, and take care of my son. I am in a temple like spiritual holy space where I am committed to the work that needs to be done for it to be magic.
I know when I am in flow because I can :
I walk away from anything that is not within those three categories (saif, swim, playbook).
I am serious focused and a little hard on myself.
My laptop goes everywhere, and anytime I can squeeze a moment to write an email and cross something off my to do list I will take it. I have managed to squeeze in a few more minutes of work time in the car right before car pick up and on the futoor table.
I want to go to where I need to go and I want to get there fast. And its unpleasant even for me at times but all I see is a deadline to reach and a goal to achieve and having to push myself and everyone around me to cross milestones. Its messy and chaotic but crossing finish lines is never easy.
No tolerance for time wasters and events that don’t add value which can include hang outs and social gatherings and meetings and phone calls if they don’t serve a Playbook purpose.
The strangest thing about this experience is getting into a sense of flow as a mother. Which means I have to break my flow at times and routine to be with my son. The guilt is unbearable and at times it feels like I am neither here or there. I have found a few hacks that have helped recently which are:
Working whilst Saif has his meal time - but he still gets a good view of me.
Going to my parents house for a few hours whilst I work on the couch, he gets to play with the family and I get to work, Saif constantly needs to see my face but even if I am distracted I can still make eye contact if needed.
Play dates. I used to stay around for playdates but now I leave him in trusted hands of my amazing friends and the nanny so I can power through.
On weekends I make up for it by taking almost the full weekend off to really and truly be with Saif, I am talking play time, and games and toys and all the cuddles and eye contact in the world to make up for my distracted mind over the weekend. Come Sunday I think I earned the time I need to get my work done.
I used to feel so lonely as a female entrepreneur and now dare I say its even harder as a mother. It seems there are less momprenerus out there or perhaps I haven’t met enough of them to feel like there is a community of women that relate to hard it can be to build a business and be a mom. Especially when you feel like the support is not around when you need it. Families shame you if you work too hard, your female business owner friends say you bring up your son way too much, and your mom friends don’t get it because they have a better handle on work life balance.
Flow, I can spot you and have figured you out. The mom and flow thing not so much. But I know it will work out and hopefully all this time away from being with Saif will be worth it for him and me and everyone we build this for.